ten shits we like, about being broke as shit

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as sick as i am of hearing about that, uhh, it's true. but i've never been one to have my glass half empty unless i've been holding a jameson for around twenty seconds. so here's to optimism and making the best out of our nonexistent fortunes.



1. junk food

you get to eat stuff that tastes good but isn't necessarily good for you under the pretense that you can afford it and can't really afford to eat anything else all day week.

2. enjoying parks and rec

can't watch robots fight for $12 at the new transformers movie? catch a 6:00 bum fight at thompkins. it's eco friendly and you don't have to watch shia labeouf pretend like he can actually wrangle megan fox without date rape.

3. cruising at trader joes

some fine ass niggas work there, and most of williamsburg, which is essentially a singles bar in itself, shops there. even jessica stam goes to be frugle with her fruit purchases.

4. the thrill of being lawless

shoplifting, trespassing, smuggling people through the train turnstile, smuggling georgi vodka into b.east bars, drinking on the street, indecent exposure, and basically trying to amuse yourself with no cash is very liberating and easy to do in nyc.

6. quality time with friends

you aren't going to a movie or on a date with someone or to a concert or shopping or to the guggenheim (or even riding the subway), so you get to actually sit down with the people you love and enjoy them without distraction more often. bro's before ho-rrible financial crisis!

7. becoming a hacker

i still want to listen to music and watch movies, so i've taken to the much addicting act of downloading. having literally no money to get it from the source, i finally figured out torrents and mp3's after years of trying and giving up. turns out, there's a lotta shit out there that don't take none of my pennies.

8. being more creative

i'm sure you've read some article about how creativity is stoked by hard times, but i think the theory actually has legs. no doubt whatever your project is, you have had it stripped to its bare bones, which makes you think more strategically and forces you to get more bang for your buck. they say "when you have nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire." this is last resort time, and we've all got to pull out all the stops.

9. cleaning house

if it ain't useful, sell it. or get rid of it.

10. we always have sex

lord knows that's free, and never really loses its entertainment value. but please, spring for a condom. it's an investment for everyone around you, i know i can't afford ear plugs when the kid pops out because you didn't have the dough for an a-bomb.