ten shits we liked, about the fourth of july

1. the utter lack of photography
debauchery is not a good look for these bitches

2. rooftops and backyards
because being inside was not an option, so thankfully we have an in with williamsburgers.

3. tofu dogs and garden burgers
traditionally a day to get your meat on, these little gifts to veg lovers everywhere let us join in on the fun.

4. daytime drinking
lasting a day longer than it should have, this was one of the only days of the year where it's totally acceptable for everyone to start getting trashed before at noon. it's hot, i'm thirsty!

5. making out sans shame
it could have something to do with the previous item, but new friends, old friends, strangers, and significant others alike were all subject to smooching.

6. eating all day
we got no cash for groceries, so let's just store a week's worth of calories in one sitting. plus, who doesn't love the surprise element of a potluck?

7. not giving a shit about the fireworks
they were on the west side. what are we supposed to do, sit on the piers? to quote rose mcgowan in doom generation, "i am so sure!" we watched them on tv though, i think i got the picture.

8. american flags were...nowhere?
we tried our damndest to be patriotic, but the pastel fruit print and dark green plastic table cloths just didn't bring to mind the birth of our country.

9. nursing the hangover
in the least responsible way ever, at a bar.

10. america
we all know dayum well this place got problems, but without it, we wouldn't know each other, and we wouldn't have new york. oh yeah, and freedom.



and now for one shit we did not like about the fourth of july:

1. the shit we like crew wasn't together for even one minute!
try as we might, we couldn't be pulled away from our previous engagements. in fact, we haven't seen each others asses in a hot minute, let's hang, guys!





cheers to next year!!
anthem for the fourth