the after dinner payback

anyway, got a job at the standard hotel in the meatpacking district and it's really hard (9.5-10 hour shifts, little money, uncomfortable shoes), but i see celebrities all the livelong day. my first day really set the tone when the first customers to come into the restaurant were jay-z and beyonce. "can someone get me a bartender, beyonce needs a drink," said one of the managers during the pre-meal meeting. my kind of girl. after that i've bussed tables for anna wintour and bee schaffer, christian siriano, diane von furstenberg, sandra bernhard, and (maybe)debra winger. kind of hope i don't have to work tonight, but if i do, you'll be the first to hear what happens. or not.

sunday's finest

beyonce really goes all out for the bet awards. last year balenciaga leggings in her performance, this year balmain on the red carpet, how's she gonna follow this up? if i was her stylist, i would do a surface piercing every three inches on her body and attach a four inch diameter diamond dangling earring in each piercing. then i would make her kill bill gates, gild his head and wear it as a hat. and for the shoes, i would skin some brussels griffons for the front and bottom, and the heel would be a carved down dinosaur bone. luxe enough?